I love nonfiction but I’ve always shied away from self-help books. It wasn’t that I thought I already had my life together and everything figured out (I guess few of us can say that). Rather, I’d always believed that whatever I had to learn about ‘life’, I had to learn through living life. In other words, it was experience that would ‘teach’ me what I had to know, not passages from a book.
Of course, books do hold intrinsic value in that regard. Memoirs, biographies, historical literature and even well-written novels (like Harry Potter) show me worlds I wouldn’t have otherwise known. They push me to think divergently, to see through different lens.
But not self-help books, surely. Not a pedantic voice telling me what I should do with my life.
A year or two ago, though, I began to notice that self-help books seem to be growing in popularity. More and more are being published—and hitting the bestsellers list. There must be some value in them, I reasoned.
Since then, I’ve read quite a few books in this genre I once eschewed. Perhaps I’d even unwittingly read some in the past without realising they were categorised as “self-help”. Good writers know that their book won’t sell if it reads like a list of commandments and tedious, banal reasoning. So instead, we’re treated to stories.
That is what I can say about all three self-help books I read last month. They tell stories with a purpose. Their stories bring across key messages that the authors wish to convey, and often give readers a fresh burst of insight.
All three books are immensely popular. You may have heard of them:
- The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, by Charles Duhigg
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life, by Mark Manson
- Outliers: The Story of Success, by Malcolm Gladwell
Here are my thoughts on each book, and whether you should read them:
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
Title: The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
Author: Charles Duhigg
Genre: Nonfiction (Self-help)
Originally published: 28 February 2012
Finished reading: 8 May 2020
Link: Get this book on Amazon
Charles Duhigg crunches enormous amounts of data, including scientific explanations, distilling them all into narrative form. The book is driven by a plethora of examples, from Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps and Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, to civil rights activist Martin Luther King, Jr. Duhigg also looks into companies such as Procter & Gamble and Target, uncovering how habits are what drew the crucial line between failure and success.
This book wasn’t really life-changing for me because I’d long since come to believe in the truth of Aristotle’s words, “excellence is a habit”. I was already convinced, through my own experiences, that habits are immensely powerful and even life-defining.
But I think it will offer a great perspective if you hadn’t really paid attention to how habits shape every aspect of our lives. Understanding that may be the first step towards making habits work in your favour.
If you believe you can change—if you make it a habit—the change becomes real. This is the real power of habit: the insight that your habits are what you choose them to be.
Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
Title: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
Author: Mark Manson
Genre: Nonfiction (Self-help)
Originally published: 13 September 2016
Finished reading: 28 May 2020
Link: Get this book on Amazon
This is possibly my favourite book out of the three. If not for anything, then for the pure fact that it’s downright humorous, relatable, and also enlightening, in a way.
I mean, any guy who has the audacity to put an expletive in his book title (and main argument of the book)—and top the bestsellers list? He’s definitely someone you can relate to. Mark Manson’s philosophy is in direct defiance to conventional self-help programmes out there, and that’s what makes this book potentially life-changing.
In my life, I have given a fuck about many people and many things. I have also not given a fuck about many people and many things. And like the road not taken, it was the fucks not given that made all the difference.
Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
I immediately took to Manson’s conversational writing style, blunt honesty, and witty remarks. Rather than establish his argument in science, he mainly alludes to personal examples and common experiences that we can all relate to. He does refer to well-known public figures as well.
If you’re truly down in the dumps, no amount of positive self-talk is going to save you. But Mark Manson just might. I see his philosophy as a good outlook on life that many of us—particularly those in perpetual pursuit of success or happiness (or pleasure)—may miss. And the way he tells it? Brilliant.
And if you think that he’s advocating a ‘lazy’ way to life? You’re utterly wrong. Without giving too much away, here’s one of my favourite quotes from the book:
Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.
Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
Title: Outliers: The Story of Success
Author: Malcolm Gladwell
Genre: Nonfiction (Self-help)
Originally published: 18 November 2008
Finished reading: 30 May 2020
Link: Get this book on Amazon
Malcolm Gladwell set out to upend the common perception of success, and I think perhaps he has succeeded (no pun intended).
When we regard successful individuals, we seldom think of the circumstances that engendered their success. So many elements had to fall into place, perfectly, to culminate in that eventual triumphant outcome.
And that is exactly what Gladwell wants us to see. He wants us to see that success is dependent on innumerable factors wholly beyond our control. Is there anything special about elite Canadian hockey players? Why do Asian kids outperform American kids in Math? How did Bill Gates become a billionaire computer entrepreneur? Through these and many other examples, Gladwell debunks the prevailing notion that success is purely a result of character, diligence, and resilience.
Who we are cannot be separated from where we’re from.
Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers
Though this book claims to offer a different perspective, I feel that I’d already known, to a certain extent, the truth in Gladwell’s words. The enjoyable part, for me, was reading the stories of all these people and how they became successful, through this new lens.
Choosing a winner: Which one should you read?
I hadn’t planned on comparing the three books. But just in case you’re curious, here’s my ‘ranking’ if you’re looking to pick one up:
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life, by Mark Manson
- Outliers: The Story of Success, by Malcolm Gladwell
- The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, by Charles Duhigg
Ultimately, I would say that all three are bestsellers for a reason. I listed The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck at the top simply because it’s a more light-hearted and engaging read, which I think is great if you’re just getting into self-help or want an easy read.
If you’ve read all three, which one is your favourite? Which self-help book(s) would you recommend? Let me know in the comments below! Or connect with me on Instagram @thelowkeymedic.